Page 34 - March 2014 Catalyst

traPPed
(living the liFe oF a lesbian)
By: Luella Redfern | Continued from pg 12
love. Bishop Redfern has such a candied way of sharing the gospel with Mara. She doesn’t feel threatened. We both have come to know and love her unconditionally. We have learned to show her the same love and respect that Christ shows us.
Mara attends her recovery meeting on a regular basis. Struggling with her addic- tion trying to stay clean. Struggling trying to keep her job. She just couldn’t seem to get along with her new manager. To look at her, you would never think she had a drug problem. She is always well groomed. Her hair nicely styled, eyebrows arched, beauti- fully made up. You would never know her struggles or the demons she battles daily. After several job changes, Mara now has a new job which she loves. Very happy to have her new job but still struggling some- what with her lifestyle choices. Still con- fuses not understanding why she is going through so much trying to live and not die and go to hell. Being rejected and not nd- ing what she needs in the natural.
A week ago after a long ight from our mission trip to Cameroon Central Africa, Redfern and I longed for a good Ameri- can breakfast cooked by someone other than myself. We found ourselves at one of our favorite restaurants. ere was Mara excited to see us and happy to hear about our trip. She had been following up on Facebook and commended us for allowing God to us to do great things all over the world. e joy and excitement in her voice was not matched with the sadness in her eyes. She couldn’t talk much because she was on the clock. When she took her break, she came over to talk with me about how Redfern bugs her and how she had to start putting him on speaker because her com- panion was getting jealous. We chit chat-
34 CityLight.org
ted about the weather and how people just don’t understand. She began to talk about here dope smoking ex-husband who intro- duced her to drugs. How they would get high together. She talked about his love for other women and extramarital a airs. She said her ex-mother in law had the nerve to tell her before she died that she should stop all her foolishness and go back to her ex-husband.
Mara said after three wives her ex-husband is a preacher now and still using drugs. She said, “I just don’t understand how all these backsliding Christian keep telling me I’m
going to hell”. en she asked the ques- tion, “How can he say God called him to preach and he’s still smoking marijuana. He has not changed a bit”. She talk of his abused and how he hurt her so badly, she could never trust another man. I think for the rst time I heard the pain of her heart. She was crying out for help. She had been in many relationships with men trying to ease her pain. Trying to feel good in the natural. Each time she was abused and hurt. She is looking for a bandage to cover her
march 2014