20 CityLight.org
may 2012
NEWTON'S LAWS OF INFLUENCE
C H A K I S S E N E W T O N ' S
Tools and Tips to Improve Professional and Personal Success
Instead, practice the art of the followup question.
Learn to look interested and interject with ques-
tions like, "That sounds interesting ... how did you
get involved with that?" Secret weapon: prepara-
tion. By preparing questions and conversation top-
ics in advance, you'll find it easier to help the other
person keep the conversation going.
y
ou
don
'
T
HaVe
To
loVe
neTworKinG
.
Many of the introverts I coach are under the
impression that I love networking. I don't ac-
tually, even though my friends call me a "rag-
ing extrovert." I love people. I love talking to
people. I love building relationships. I don't like
walking up to a group of strangers. But I do it
anyway, because it's important and it's a gate-
way to those conversations that I do love.
Tip: Don't expect to jump for joy. That takes some
of the pressure off and makes it easier for you.
Even if you don't love the conversations, you can
re-frame networking as a chance to learn some-
thing new. Secret weapon: similarity. Remember
that many people in the room feel just like you and
would love for you to talk to them.
n
eTworKinG
is
a
sKill
and
sKills
Can
be
learned
.
If you can drive a car, you can learn to net-
work, by following the right process. Never forget
that introverts can be just as successful as extro-
verts. It's all about the attitude and remembering
to focus on the right things.
Happy networking introverts!
(Or, at least, less stressful networking.)
What's your networking challenge? Share it on
our website. CardinalConsulting.com.
© 2010 Chakisse Newton. All Rights Reserved.
Chakisse Newton
Cardinal Consulting
803.753.1311 | CardinalConsulting.net
Who is better at networking introverts or
extroverts? If you said "extroverts," you're not
alone. But, you'd be wrong.
As a networking and influence coach, I know
firsthand that introverts can be just as good as
extroverts at networking, and many times, in-
troverts can be even better. But first, introverts
have to shift their perspective. Here's how:
n
eTworKinG
is
abouT
relaTionsHips
,
noT
personaliTy
TraiTs
.
I feel like a broken record on this point, but so
many people forget this that it bears repeating
again and again. Networking is about build-
ing relationships. It is not about how many
people you talk to at an event. It is not about
how many business cards you collect. It is not
about how many fascinating stories you tell.
It is about building relationships and you can
only do that one person at a time.
Tip: Instead of thinking about how many people are
at an event or in your personal network, think of
people individually and try to find ways to connect
with just one person, and then build on that connec-
tion. Your secret weapon: a smile. Smiling at people
will open just as many doors as witty conversation.
A smile says you're open and want to connect.
l
isTeninG
and
asKinG
THe
riGHT
quesTions
are
more
imporTanT
THan
TalKinG
.
Extroverts seem to have an easier time
net-
working, because they have greater ease talking
to people. That may be true, but many extroverts
spend so much time talking that they never get
to know the other person. Have you ever been
the recipient of a nonstop monologue? Many
extroverts walk away from a conversation hav-
ing entertained their listener greatly, but with-
out actually building a relationship. By listen-
ing, you avoid that mistake.
Tip: Don't think you have to be the life of the party.
i
nTroVerTed
? n
eTworKinG
m
ade
e
asy