may 2012
CityLight.org 43
Roughly two years ago I started talking to
Dr. Talley about the principles and tools
he gives husbands and wives to help them
find the love and passion they once had
for each other. I told him I saw the Pareto
Principle (80-20 principle) in the hus-
band wife relationship. My point was that
ladies come more natural to relationships.
They get it 80% right out of the gate and
men get it 20% of the time. He said I was
close, it's more like 95% and 5%. We had
a good laugh and a few minutes later I
asked him if he had ever considered writ-
ing a "relationship 101" book for men. At
that time he had seven books published
in nine languages. He felt it would never
sell, because
as a rule men
don't buy rela-
tionship books.
I let another
year go by and
a p p ro a c h e d
him one more
time. We start-
ed meeting
every Saturday
morning at
6:00am uncov-
ering tools we
men need to
become better
at our most important human relation-
ship. The book is entitled REAL MEN
HUG PORCUPINES, A RELATION-
SHIP TOOLBOX FOR MEN. It will be
released sometime in late March or early
April 2012.
I will be sharing the 25 relationship tools
for men in the upcoming articles. If you
are the wife, don't force this stuff on your
man. Just pray for him and be patient.
You are 95% better prepared for this stuff
than he is. In the book I share our story
and give basic relationship principles you
need to know. Each chapter offers specific
tools you can implement to improve your
number one human relationship.
REAL MEN HUG PORCUPINES?
What's the title of the book about?
Sherri and I had been married about five
years. I had been home from work long
enough to get into an argument with her.
We were both standing in the kitchen
arguing about whatever issues arise with
young couples.
The verbal volleys went back and forth.
The intensity of our discussion kept get-
ting hotter. Anger started to escalate
when Sherri
burst into tears
and said, "It
would help if
you would just
come over here
and hug me!"
As a young,
stupid male, I
had an angry
response. "I
don't hug por-
cupines!" and I
walked out of
the house and
took a walk to
cool down. I didn't get very far down the
street when I heard a voice in my head say
"Yes you do. Real men hug porcupines."
Real men don't walk away from their wives,
real men embrace their wives and deal with
whatever issue is facing the relationship.
I cut through our yard, walked in the back
door and hugged my porcupine. When I
did, her quills disappeared. Turns out,
they weren't really quills, they were fears
and insecurities we needed to talk about
and turn over to God, together.